What to do...

Ever felt like there's 10 ways your life could go? I have lived my whole life by my "dream" of how my life will go. Not suprisingly, God has intereupted every single part of that plan. I was convinced in high school that I would date Megan Sutherlin (way too hot for me in the first place) and then my life would be milk & honey. Not that it wouldn't...but He wasn't anywhere near done with me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn now, but I wish He'd get to that part soon. I feel like everyday is just that, another day with all the same. I look at what my life has been and it makes me want to cry. I have abandoned the only thing in my life that's been consistent and never changing so so so many times, Jesus. Even after all the blaspheming, the lack of trust, outright denial, trying to put Him in a box only to be taken out when convenient, HE STILL LOVES ME. It's a beautiful thing. I've been so worried about being alone all my life I haven't stepped back to look that I've had someone there through it all. My Father has been there through the depression, being outcast, the insults to my faith, the crushes, the lonliness, the pain of being betrayed by my father. I know God exists because there is nothing that could have sustained me throughout all the pain that made me want to end it all. I just hope I can fulfill His plans for my life, not mine. Be patient with me Lord, it'll take some warming up to get me to wake up and get with the program.

Pick-A-Date

This week has been awful...working everyday at 8 is absolutely killing me, no lie. I've been going on 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, feeling like I could fall asleep at any moment. Things have changed a lot from the summer...but work's been ok (even though I have to work so early). But now onto the good news.

I get wind of a "quick-pick", or a pick-a-date where we have under 2 days to find someone to go with. Ever since I've met Kristine on third Bergwall, I've been wanting to hang out with her (mostly cause she looks and acts like Jenni, which is awesome). I spose I've always been attracted to the girls I could never have, fun and outgoing (and attractive) girls. So naturally, I asked her to go with me. She tells me that she's going on her pick-a-date Friday at 5 too, so no-can-do. I figure it's a sign from God I suck or should just go home for the weekend, but things change. Butch tells me I have to go, so I just called Jess and asked her if she'd like to go since she's pretty fun and we go back and forth like an old married couple. To my suprise, this has been probably the best pick-a-date I've ever been on. We went to Olive Garden (still amazing) and not one moment of awkward silence, only laughter, then to putt-putt were Jess had to make up for my suckiness but I did get a hole-in-one, then we went to bowl and had fun jumping up in the air in the shape of an X or / whenever we got a strike or a spare. Good times. Later I came back and watched Butterfly Effect w/ Joel Kempson (Pipin) & Scooter which made for a great end to the night. All in all I think it was God working afterall. A pick-a-date's not really the way to get to know someone, so it probably wouldn't be all that great with Krisitine, but having Jess there with no need to impress but just relax and have some laughs was just what I needed after a hard week. Thank You Father...I owe ya one.

Normally I don't do this stuff...but what the hey

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?