A blog dedicated to the daily life of a man named Jude aka Bissell and his thoughts on anything under the Sun.

Monday, December 12, 2005

So Close

2 days away from Christmas break and I can't wait. This semester has been the busiest of all to date even though I'm taking only a whopping 13 credits. Ridiculous...but that's been the life for a whole semester. My projects have owned every moment of my life to the point I can't even think how tired I am. I was (somehow) able to go see the Colts v. Titans game last weekend which was a great break from the grind. Got to have some pork burgers w/ Dubya's family and dropped off my old TV since I went and bought a 32" LCD HDTV (pure sexiness) and sold my old 34" beast to my mom. I've spent more money in the past 4 weeks than I make in a year. Thank goodness I don't have to pay for the Xbox 360 or my 5.1 speaker system...thank you Christmas. Materially, everything's amazing. But less than 3 or 4 weeks ago I get a suprise call from Jenni and I'm thinking this will be it, she's dumping her boyfriend and I can do what I was supposed to do in the beginning. Not quite...I heard news that literally froze me. After I got off the phone I went out into the woods and unloaded on God, demanding that He watch over his daughter. I pray nearly everyday for her and she hardly has left my mind since then. I feel like she doesn't want my help and I can't help even if I wanted. Thanksgiving was rough too. My mom is dating a good family friend of ours and my brother is absolutely against her ever dating. So being the antagonist she loves to be, she keeps talking about him around Jeremiah and talking about marraige. I want to puke and Miah is infuriated. I cracked Sunday night and just begged her to stop it, I've got enough drama in my life I have to suppress. Then she calls me yesterday talking about how she talked to my dad's prostitute girlfriend and forgave her and how alike they are...why...why stir up my hate now? I hung up. I cannot forgive my dad unless I can forget it all and that's going to take a long time (and she's not helping). Pray for Jenni and I. My family is ripping itself apart while hers has abandoned her when she needs them most. Christ, be with us.