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I've been pretty busy lately getting all these computers built, parts returned (6 to be exact), kept UPS in business, kicked myself for being a moron, ordered the right parts, got my mom's new PC built, installed all my "borrowed" software and now I finally have time to sit back and let my screwdriver rest. What did I get for it all? Nothing! Why is it the pro bono jobs that are always the biggest pains. Anyhoo, I've been pretty discouraged lately since I've lost no weight at all working out every day for the past 3 weeks. Not to mention my dreams...is this God torturing me? All I dream about is the great times I've had with some of the girls in my life: Megan, Baileigh, Jenni, and Ash. All of them (except for Baileigh) are great women, but when I wake up it's just another reminder how alone I am here. I've been trying so hard to just shut it out and forget it, but I've run out of mindless entertainment... It was really disturbing last weekend when this one of my mom's friends had her little girl over and the little girl touched my arm wanting me to play with her. I just froze stiff. I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had been touched (except for my brother's nagging). Will someone tell me I'm not alone here? Besides my immediate family, Ash is the only other person on this planet that cares enough to ask how my day's going...how much longer Father will this have to last till I can find someone to love and that'll love me?