Talking to God

Last night I couldn't sleep at all...and I knew why. I've been majorly slacking off in everything, but most importantly, my faith. Trusting in God is in the back of my mind anymore since "I can handle it" but when I look at what my life has become with me at the driver's seat, it's a complete mess. So last night I just asked God to tell me what to do and I'd wait till He gave me the directive. The sermon title today? "Live like You were Dying".

The sermon was amazing (go download at kingswaychurch.org) since John challenge the church to look at our mortality and how brief life really is. One of his points was to lead a "no-regret life" which is anything but what I've been living for the past 20 years. I have more regrets than memories it seems. Sitting there next to my dad in church for that sermon was tough since God just laid everything right in front of me in plain view. I couldn't run from this one. Christ spoke directly to my soul today but I failed Him before I walked out the doors by not worshiping Him as I should since for some reason I don't think it's "manly" to sing in front of my family, although I do it anywhere else. I feel like my life has been one based on disappointing God since everything He's called me to I've run from. Will I meet the same fate as Jonah and be forced into my calling? I hope so...doubt I'll be fulfilling anyone's will, much less God's, as of now. Pray for me to quit putting off what could be an amazing opportunity and change my life forever.

The Rebellious Servant,
Jude