No Job No Life

Well, it's a week into the summer and I've gotten 1 call from Best Buy (that was supposed to call me back, but didn't) so I think I screwed myself over by waiting so long to get a job. Frick...so I guess I'm going to be cleaning the house, mowing a couple lawns and *hopefully* will be working on some computers around town if God is good. With absolutely nothing to do all day, my motivation is dying day by day and I've yet to call one friend to hang out. I've got something lined up with good ol' Stevo from Ben Davis, but otherwise I'm back to my highschool loser days. I'm really starting to see how bad I've ignored all my old friends to the point we can barely chat online anymore. I talk to a agnostic lesbian more than I do my best friend, how screwed up is that? I suck as a friend...I wish I could just bring all my friends to one town where I could hang out with them whenever I wanted (mostly Ash & Jenni). Jenni...boy did I mess up there. I had a pretty, Christian, loving girl waiting for me to ask her out and being the tool that I am I didn't pick up on any of the signals too afraid that I would misread a signal and trash the friendship. Am I still doing that? I tried the whole getting back with Baileigh thing but that ended before it took off and it seems like Ash is drifting away and all my junior friends are moving off the floor and Aaron & Karrie are leaving for AZ...just a total relationship deterioration...but how bout them Colts? I did feel like God was trying to talk to me again at Aaron's ordination...somehow I feel like I should have been in his shoes. Is it my dream of having people listen to me or my dreams of power and respect or is it truly God? I've felt this call to reunite the Church for awhile and I don't know if it's from Him or if it's anywhere near possible. Maybe it's just my wish for Catholics (Ash) and Protestants (me) to be unified again just as Martin Luther wanted in the first place. What does my nonexistant audience think?